Today’s post is a response to a question about lost opportunity that I received from one of my awesome readers, who says:
I basically think the universe knows everything, including what we want, so life takes us where we need to be, even if we think certain choices we make are good for us, the universe proves us otherwise, or remembers what we initially set forth, so it follows the agenda. Also, you need to be willing to stick with something and see it through in order to achieve success. It tortures you if it is really an authentic desire. If not, you did not really want it.
The thing that has bothered me most has been regretting an opportunity I did not take because a gap has been left there, since I did not do it. Even if the list of pros is longer than cons for things I did instead, I still do not know how it would have been and I think I would have been better off for doing it. How can we calm these crazy thoughts that tear up our heart at times? I know life has abundant opportunities, so it does not matter.
I also have another question about competition. I like asking LOA teachers and gurus about this one, mainly to confirm my inkling that it really does not matter how competitive people say things are and how you can’t get what you want so you have to settle for something else. It is an illusion created by the masses who see something and do not believe it and try to discourage you from doing something. Well we know how that goes, right? What is your take on this? I think it is the universal forces that rule. I love talking about this stuff because my vibration rises as I do, so I ask lots of questions!
The Universe gives us what we ask for, every time
My take on this is that Universe always gives us what we are in vibrational alignment with, regardless of whether we “want” it or not. The Universe reads the energy that we are sending out into it, and it’s what matches this energy signature that gets manifested into our lives. The Universe can, will and does grant us everything that we ask for. Everything. It does not make any judgement calls about whether what we ask for is “good” for us or not, it just gives it to us, whether that desire is conscious or unconscious. A lost opportunity is a choice that we have made and not the result of the Universe deciding it wasn’t the right thing for us and thus preventing us from having it.
Lost opportunity and the Law of Attraction
In situations where we regret a lost opportunity, even though there are all sorts of logical reasons why we didn’t go for it, it generally means that the real reason we didn’t jump on the opportunity in the first place was because there were a lot of people in our lives telling us that we’d be crazy to do it. Or that little inner critic inside of us (we all have one) was telling us the same thing, giving us all the reasons why it couldn’t/shouldn’t be done. We didn’t follow our hearts because we let the outside voices override our inner guidance.
But our heart wanted it, so very much. And it still does. And, yes, it can still have it. There are always new opportunities coming our way, but we have to be open enough to see them and accept them.
What often happens, however, is that, in our regret, we’re still so stuck on the “lost opportunity” and so focused on and grieving (because it is a type of grief) over this loss that we aren’t able to let ourselves see any other opportunities, even though it is never too late to do what we want to do.
For example, if your dream was to become a professional dancer and you didn’t go for it when you were young it may well be too late to become a professional in your 30s, in the sense of being able to dance with a national ballet company or working as a pro on Dancing With the Stars or something; however, it is never too late to dance. You could find amateur performance groups in your city and dance on stage with them, you could volunteer to teach after school classes for kids, you could run a senior’s dance fitness class… if dance is in your heart, there are any number of ways that you could live your dream of being a dancer. And if dance is in your heart, then you must dance or you will never be happy. This is why the missed opportunity gnaws at us so much… if we are not doing what we love, in some way, shape or form then there is a part of us that remains empty.
And in order to be open to all the ways in which our dreams could still manifest, we need to lose the attachment to how it would have happened if we’d taken the original opportunity. By insisting that it has to be that way or no way, we are limiting the Universe’s ability to bring us what we so desperately want because at the same time that we want it, our stronger vibration is that we don’t really believe that we can have it anymore. A lost opportunity can always be “found” again, if we remain open to new directions and don’t mess with the “hows” of how it’s going to happen.
Not going for it because of competition
Ah, the competition question. Yes, the belief that the competition is fierce and you either have to have an incredible amount of luck, or some big shot in the industry (whichever one it is that you’re interested in) pulling favours for you is rather persistent, isn’t it? It is such a pervasive belief in Western culture that we are all affected by it to one extent or another. The thing is, it makes no sense as far as Law of Attraction goes.
There’s a great quote from Confucius that says: “Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life”, which, to me, sums this all up nicely. If you follow a path that you love, and can stay true to yourself and your belief in your ability to do it, then, according to Law of Attraction, it must work out for you. This does not mean that there won’t be elements of your job that you don’t like, because, let’s face it, pretty much every job has elements that you like less than others. But if you have a passion for what you’re doing, it will energize you and motivate you to do everything you need to do to make your dream come true. And if you believe that it is possible, you will be successful because you won’t stop until you get there. You will probably be working harder than you have ever worked in your life, but it won’t seem like work! More importantly, it allows you to live your life with a sense of purpose and joy that you cannot find by “settling” for something.
Now, this does not mean that you should go out and quit your job and risk your ability to shelter and feed yourself in order to follow your passion and chase after that lost opportunity. It means that you view the situation that you are currently in as a stepping stone towards your real dream; you realize that you’re not trapped where you are because it is simply a mean to an end. It means you give yourself permission to dream your dream and start working toward your goal with every spare minute you can find. It means you look for every opportunity and every avenue that will bring you even the tiniest step closer. It means you are open to that dream coming to you in ways you could never have even imagined, and you have faith that it will happen for you.
Choose your own adventure
The Universe does know everything, including what we want. And it does know what’s “best” for us in any given situation. But that’s not how it works. Life is a “choose your own adventure” scenario; you get to choose your own experiences, beliefs and destiny and you are the only one who can. And the Universe will support you in your choices every step of the way. Just be sure you actually understand what it is you’re actually asking for, as opposed to what you think you’re asking for; get your vibrational alignment in order, and everything will fall into place. The Universe is waiting for you. 🙂
Phew! That was a marathon post, but wasn’t it fun? If you have any questions you’d like me to answer on the blog, please contact me and let me know!