What do you do when the unexpected happens after you’ve invested a lot of time, effort, or emotion into something and it just doesn’t work out they way you hoped it would? Last week I was up to my ears preparing for a seminar that I was supposed to give on Saturday. The event organizers were expecting 50-60 people to show, which would be the biggest group I’d spoken for so far, so I was pretty excited.
I put everything else on hold and worked my tail off to prepare for this seminar – it was a brand-new presentation, with most of the material based on stuff I talk about in the upcoming book, and I was building the whole thing from the ground up.
Big expectations
I had been asked to speak by a friend I’d met in my former life as a jewellery designer, and I really wanted to make sure this seminar was absolutely fantastic and that I packed in tons of awesome stuff to help this group of artists and creative entrepreneurs achieve the kind of success they wanted.
On the day of the seminar, I got there an hour early to make sure I’d have enough time to get everything set up in plenty of time.
And… there were only three people there. And they already had their coats on to leave.
Big disappointment
The organizer told me that he’d actually just emailed me to let me know that there was nobody there (hadn’t received it as I’d been driving at the time). He said he was hoping more people would show up before the actual start of my seminar.
But the three people who had been there drifted out during that time. And no one else came in.
So I sat around and chatted with the organizer and his wife (both friends of mine). He seemed disappointed. He’d done a lot of work to set this weekend event up, and had 60 people confirm that they’d be there on the event page or via email. So he was surprised that no one was there. Also, it’s a lot of work setting up an event. And when people tell you they’re going to be there and then don’t show up, it’s kind of distressing
Feeling sad and feeling sorry
About half an hour after my seminar was supposed to have started, they decided to call it a day and close up the venue.
So I went home and was sad about how much time I’d poured into this seminar the previous week that had “all gone to waste” and about how much I’d been hoping would come out of this event (with that many people, I was hoping it would lead to more speaking requests for other organizations).
And, of course, feeling sad about that made me start thinking about the first coffee meet-up that I did way back when, where a few people said they’d be there, but no one showed up. (In all fairness, I did receive an email afterwards from someone who had RSVPd, telling me that she had run into a traffic jam and that she’d arrived about 15 minutes after I gave up and left.)
That nasty snowball effect kicked in & I realized that feeling sorry for myself wasn't helping. Click To TweetAnd then I realized that this was entirely the wrong kind of energy and attitude to be putting out there. I could feel that nasty snowball effect kicking in, so I decided to put an end to it before it got any worse.
Watch your vibe
I decided that maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. I could look at it as an opportunity to polish the presentation up even further and make it even more useful to the next potential audience.
And that made me realize that it might even be for the same group, as I was asked if I’d be interested in coming back and trying again for a similar event in a month or two.
And then I started thinking that maybe the live events aren’t the only thing I could be doing with this material. I meant to start doing webinars last year but never quite got around to it, so maybe I could modify the content a bit to work well as a webinar.
Or maybe I could do something similar as an online course package. Or break it up into small chunks and do a series of Periscope broadcasts.
As soon as I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, ideas started flowing about what I could do with all the work that I thought had been “wasted” when this even that I’d been so excited about tanked.
Let go of attachment
In short, when we’re working towards something important to us – a big dream or goal, or a milestone on the way to such – and something happens that we weren’t expecting, the best thing we can do is try shifting our perspective; to take a step back, distance ourselves a little, and try to think about the situation as if it weren’t us in the middle of it.
When the unexpected happens, shift your perspective; decide to use the 'hiccup' to your advantage. Click To TweetPull away from the immediate emotional baggage surrounding the situation and try and look at it as if you were a dispassionate outsider. From this broader perspective, the next thing to do is to think of way in which this “hiccup” could actually be used in a beneficial way.
As always, when you let go of your attachment, you clear the way for the Universe to speak to you and show you how to use the circumstances to your advantage.
photo credit: pixabay.com cc (modified by me)
Everything builds upon itself. If you think about it, the Universe has given you pretty much everything that you have asked for thus far, one way or another, at various times, right? This is what I realized today. So, all in good time. Meanwhile, alignment becomes even greater.
It is hard having a dream, because you do not know if it will come to pass or not. I know we are supposed to enjoy the journey to such an extent that the manifestation is “the next logical step”, as Abe say, and it does make sense, but sometimes the odds are so against us. I know we are not supposed to look at or pay any attention to them, for they are just numbers, but these numbers are worshiped by the others (non-LOAers). It is interesting becasue, according to the yugas cycles (really interesting stuff), all this is a manifestation of a low vibration, becasue it higher ones, there is no writing!
See now, I happen to like writing and reading, so in my high vibration mode, there is lots of it. 🙂 Don’t worry so much about the numbers. People beat the odds, in any number of areas, every single day. Just stay focused on what you’re doing and what you’re going to be doing, and let them worry about their own lives. And remember to keep your touchstones in mind — your big WHY. Following your passion is never about one thing and one thing only — it’s about the feelings underneath… these are the important clues as to what you’re meant to do here. The particulars about how that plays out can change, but it’s those core touchstone areas that are the key.
Your thought process following the cancelling of the event is a great example of how to positively deal with a negative situation. It’s all to easy to dwell in the disappointment rather than turn around as you did, good stuff!
Dwelling on disappointment just leads to more disappointment. Always best to stop, take a deep breath, think about what it is that you DO want, and then put your energy and focus on that, instead. Flip the situation, and your alignment, around. 🙂
I have had many a situation play out this way too, Nathalie. I think what helped me get through it was (after I’d stewed and fretted about it senselessly for far too long) was to see it from a different perspective, like you did.
I have come to call these times “prepping the soil and planting the seeds”. They may amount to nothing, or they may be setting the stage or the foundation for something wonderful to grow. I think you taught me a while back to take life in steps rather than huge jumps. Admittedly, I think I would like a big leap every now and then, as it would make a bigger impact. A metaphor that comes to mind is, say, remodeling a house (because that is one of the things I am in the process of doing). It’s slow going. A few things here or there to any given room, and sometimes weeks or even months go by before much more can be done. There isn’t any single room I can call finished. And sometimes I lament over lack of money or time and think, Gosh…wouldn’t it be great if this could be like one of those shows on HGTV in which the homeowner leaves for a few days and comes back to find the place completely transformed! I could dig that. I’m adaptable! But most things in life do not come about like that. It’s a hurry up and wait kind of world.
Attitude, however, makes all the difference. And if we were to focus too much on the why or the how of anything and its outcome, we would miss out so much on the here and now. I am finally starting to understand that.
Too true. 🙂 I think we’ve all been there with the useless fretting about stuff we have no real control over. It’s easy to get stuck on wanting the particulars of the situation to change, rather than focusing on what we DO have control over — how we let the situation affect us, and how we can choose to respond to it all.
I think the big jumps only come when we’re really ready for them. When we’re struggling with stuff, it’s always an alignment issue (and that includes me and everyone else who works in this field, too). When that’s the case, it really does come back to that concept of baby steps — taking those small, incremental steps that shift us closer to the right alignment with what we want, even if it feels like it’s slow going sometimes. I think the important part is to just keep working at it — doing what we can with what we have from where we are, and not getting upset with ourselves over NOT being in the “perfect” alignment yet. It will happen, and probably a lot faster, if we just take it easier on ourselves rather than fretting over it.
And you’re absolutely right… allowing ourselves to just enjoy the way things are in the now (while still working towards what we want and viewing it as a process rather than a final destination), it does make all the difference. 🙂