Today’s episode is about grief and the Law of Attraction, and it’s a response to a question sent in by a listener who asks what we’re attracting when we are mourning or grieving the loss of a loved one. So, Awesome Listener Kimberly says:
I’m a dog mom and we recently lost our puppy to a tragic accident. I’ve been mourning him for a couple weeks and the sadness is overwhelming at times. I find that it helps to allow myself to “feel” what I’m experiencing and when I’m joyful in the moment or when remembering him, then I cherish that experience too.
But I wonder, what am I attracting as I’m going through this process?
To listen to the full episode, just click the handy play button below [6m31s]:
First off, Kimberly, my condolences for the loss of your puppy. Losing someone you love is always hard, whether it’s people or pets. And I completely understand what you’re going through right now because, I lost my father about five months ago. He passed away from stage 4 colon cancer back in May, and it was really hard. My dad was my hero and his loss is something that I’m still coping with today.
So I speak from experience here when I tell you that grief is one of those things that has its own stages, and everyone will go through those stages in their own timeframe. Some days are pretty good, and you find yourself not thinking about it much at all, and then other days are not so good and you have moments where you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut and it’s hard to breathe because your grief is just so overwhelming. And in those times, it’s hard to get much of anything done – you’re just kind of desperately trying to keep your head above water and doing your best to get through your day. It kind of reminds me of that saying where when you find yourself at the end of your rope you just gotta tie a knot and hang on.
Grief and the Law of Attraction: A Catch-22 Situation?
So, what I’m saying here is don’t try to force yourself through your grief – you need to let yourself feel the things you need to feel at the times you need to feel them. And trying to get it over with faster because you’re afraid of what you’re attracting, LOA-wise, won’t help things. Because one the saying we have in this field is that what you resist persists. So if you’re trying to fight the sadness or avoid the grief, you’re just going to make it worse for yourself.
On the other hand, wallowing in your sadness isn’t good for you either. Because if you’re focusing on it, then you’ll just keep bringing more and more sad memories to mind and you’ll find yourself feeling worse and worse, and if you keep going down that path, the only thing you’re going to find is depression.
Which seems kind of like a catch-22 situation – can’t think about and can’t not think about it, right? But don’t worry, because there are healthy ways of coping with grief that can help.
Letting the Waves Wash Over You
So what can you do? From your email it sound like you’re doing the best possible thing you can do. Accept the emotions as they come — the sadness and the happy memories, too. You need be gentle with yourself right now and let the feelings wash through you when they happen. And remember that intense sadness and overwhelm that we feel when we’re grieving comes in waves – it’s like the tide that way. When you’re in one of those unbearable peaks, try to remind yourself that the wave will pass and tomorrow might be easier. And I can tell you that, while you never completely get over a loss, over time it does get less jagged and raw.
At this point I’d like to ask my readers and listeners about your experiences with grief and the Law of Attraction: Have you ever had to deal with the loss of a loved one? If so, what strategies have you found helpful in coping with the grieving process? Please leave a comment and share your best tips for others who may be going through the same thing…
photo credit: (c) Can Stock Photo
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Good topic and podcast, as always! Now I totally understand that our state of being brings more of that state to us, so no wonder depression brings about flashbacks of things you wouldn’t remember otherwise or have repressed for a long time. Thanks for that.
I am so sorry for Kimberly’s loss. I know it is difficult but it is important to focus on the joy the puppy brought into her life. I know the puppy is not around anymore, but the fact that it was must mean something. Also, the fact that it went home, the real home of all things, is comforting, at least somewhat. This is how I coped with the recent loss of a cousin who was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was awesome, a good kid. Had everything going for him. But he was speeding on the highway and the bike slipped and he was gone minutes later. It is tragic. I also had to put mt German Shepard to sleep a few years ago and I couldn’t stop crying, even on a date, who was afraid people would think he was hurting me or something.
But, as Nathalie mentioned, you go in and out of sadness and non-sadness. This waxing and waning will go on for some time, and eventually the pain will cease. There will be a scar there, but living memories. And you can still talk to them. Just because they are not here in physical doesn’t mean they are not anywhere. They are just in another state.
I hope this helps. And Nathalie, you are a trooper having lost your mom so young. She’s proud of you for sure!
Hi A. — yes, this is exactly why depression works the way it does. And it’s also the reason why it’s so insidious. Once you’re in that downward spiral, it’s very hard to focus on anything else, and the result is the near-constant reliving of every bad thing that’s every happened in your life. Stay stuck in that too long and it messes up your brain chemistry and makes it even worse. It is very, very hard to pull yourself out of that cycle once it’s set.
I love the idea of focusing on all the joy the puppy brought into her life. Puppies are awesome… one of my own “tricks” for dealing with sadness or negative thoughts is to imagine a basket full of puppies and see them all tumbling out and romping around, tails wagging and sloppy doggy kisses and all. Always lightens my mood and makes me smile (and I’m a cat person!) 😀
I’m so sorry for your losses, but I’m happy that you are finding ways to cope. It does help to think about the good, and to remember that no one “disappears” forever. The ones we love never really leave us — they are all around us, in everything we see. And we will see each other again. These are truths that we all feel with every fibre of our beings.