Today’s topic is about stuttering and breaking free of old programming, and it comes from one of my awesome readers, who says:
I have a communication problem (stuttering) and I’m very grateful to this problem because while searching for the roots of the problem, it led me to choose the road of enlightenment. But now I’m struggling during the day to live in the moment and find relief from old programing, even though I have improved in a radical way. I need your help to acknowledge, observe and face my fears of talking in front of people (meeting/presentation).
First off, I just want to say that I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to use your communication problem as a stepping-stone on your own journey! That is so awesome! 🙂
Now, to answer your question, there are a couple of things in this one, so let’s take a look, shall we? The first point is obviously the stuttering and finding the cause of it so that it can be released. Whenever I’m faced with a medical symptom or a condition that I don’t understand, my “go-to” resource is always Louise Hay, who is pretty much the godmother of all things Law of Attraction and personal development. She’s always been spot-on for me in terms of identifying the emotional or psychological reason behind my physical complaints, and once I know what that root cause is, I can focus ways of improving things so the physical manifestations of symptoms disappear.
What causes stuttering?
So I picked up my copy of You Can Heal Your Life, and looked up stuttering. And according to Louise, stuttering is caused by feelings of insecurity, lack of self-expression and not being allowed to cry. In other words, stuttering is a physical manifestation of the psychological experience of feeling unsafe to be yourself and express your true emotions. And, in theory at least, once you can clear this up by finding ways to feel safe to express yourself and validate your own emotions, the stuttering should ease up.
The other part of this is about the fear of talking in front of people during meetings or presentations. I’ve covered the topic of performance anxiety (“stage fright”, or the fear of talking in front of people) in a previous post, and you can find some good strategies there to help you with this specific problem. But I’m sensing that in this particular situation, the stuttering issue and the public speaking issues are really tied together, and I think that resolving the first issue will automatically lead to improvements in the other.
So my suggestion would be to focus ways of improving your feelings of security and find methods that you can use to express yourself and your emotions in ways that feel safe to you. When you find ways of raising your vibrational energy in these areas, it should significantly ease your stuttering, and may even release it all together. The confidence you gain from this will also have a big impact on your ability to speak up during meetings and presentations, as well, because you won’t be feeling so self-conscious about the stuttering.
Strategies for releasing insecurity
Let’s start with the concept of insecurity. When people feel insecure, it’s usually because they’ve learned to doubt themselves as a result of experiences they’ve had with other people. Often, it’s a parent or close relative telling you that you’re not good enough, which you internalize and start to believe, and which then gets mirrored back to you by everyone around you. In other words, because you started to question your own worth and began to believe you weren’t good enough, you expected other people to think you weren’t good enough, so you attracted people and situations into your life that gave you “evidence” of this. Maybe the kids you grew up with bullied you. Maybe your boss was a tyrant who made you feel awful. Whatever the situations were, they consistently made you feel like you didn’t measure up to some invisible standard. It’s a vicious, self-perpetuation circle.
Breaking free of this kind of programming, as you’ve discovered, can be really hard. So my suggestion would be to start with some affirmations. Something like “I am wonderful and worthwhile” or “I have so much to offer” or “I am loving and lovable!” Pick an affirmation that brings you closer to the goal of feeling good about yourself. Repeat them frequently throughout the day, especially first thing in the morning (before you even get out of bed) and last thing at night. I want you to start and end your day by reminding yourself how awesome you are (because you really, really are)!
Once you can do these affirmations and really feel them, I want you to move on to the next step: mirror work. I want you to find a time when you can be alone and uninterrupted, and I want you to sit or stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and say “George, you are so wonderful and worthwhile!” or “Susan, you have so much to offer!” or “Hilda, you are so loving and lovable” (except you’d use your own name, of course ;-)) Most people find mirror work really hard because when you’re looking at yourself like that, it really does bring up all the deep-seated emotions that you squashed down and tried to forget about. When these emotions start to surface it can, and often does, lead to tears. Let it happen. Let it out. And be gentle with yourself… if you feel the need to rest afterwards, do it. You’re clearing energy blockages here, and that can be physically and emotionally draining.
Strategies for self-expression
In terms of strategies for self-expression, the first key is in understanding that you have a right to feel the way you do, and that you have a right to express yourself. Your voice and viewpoint are just as valid and important as anyone else’s. And when it comes to your own life, your own mind and your own path, your views are the most important ones out there. The second key lies in finding ways to express your voice and views and emotions in ways that are both socially and culturally appropriate, and which also feel safe for you.
Generally, when we feel unable to express ourselves it’s because we’ve been silenced by others in the past when we’ve tried to. And again, it’s a pattern that we internalize and learn to expect, so the Universe obliges us by providing more experiences and situations which cause us to be “punished” for our self-expression.
The work here is in shifting that negative vibrational energy pattern to something more positive. Again, I would suggest using affirmations. Something along the lines of “I express myself freely and confidently” or “I express myself with love”.
If there is something in particular that has been bothering you, find a time when you can be alone and uninterrupted again, and then give yourself permission to really feel what you’re feeling. Acknowledge it. If you can, express the emotion… actually say out loud “I am angry!” or “I am sad” or whatever the feeling is for you. Since you’re alone, feel free to cry if you need to, or yell, scream and curse or punch a pillow until you’re exhausted. Remember you’ve created this safe space and time specifically to let yourself express your own emotions. So let yourself feel them and let them out. Once you’ve processed them this way, it will be much easier to let them go. Again, be gentle with yourself afterwards, and if you need to rest, then do so.
Tying it all together
Remember that all emotions are human emotions, and there aren’t any bad emotions – they are all equally valid, and they all have information to give you. Your feelings are a part of your life, and giving yourself permission to feel them and express them and let them out in a safe and constructive way is actually a good thing! You’re becoming empowered and learning to understand and cope with your own feelings and how they affect you.
Stuttering, from a Law of Attraction perspective, is caused by feelings of insecurity and fear with respect to emotional self-expression. Learning to love and appreciate yourself for who you are, and learning to accept and embrace your natural human emotions will help you to express yourself more freely, shifting the vibrational energy associated with your own feelings of self-worth into a higher frequency. In other words, you’ll start feeling better about yourself and more confident in your ability to express yourself and communicate effectively with others.
If you have a question you’d like me to answer on the blog, send it in! I really do love to hear from my readers. 🙂