You're Allowed to Want What You WantI’m seeing a recurring theme in the emails I’m getting lately. Well, there’s a few recurring themes, actually, but the one I wanted to talk about today is this idea that we shouldn’t want what we want in life because it’s “selfish” – because it’s too much or too big or too lavish or just too different from what other people in our lives want, and because those other people disapprove of that.

For the love of All That Is, get that crap outta your head. Like NOW. And let me make this very, very clear: YOU’RE ALLOWED TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT. Period.

All dreams and desires are valid

I don’t care if what you want is to have a 50 000 square-foot house with gold bathtubs and diamond windows. I don’t care if you want to run a non-profit organic food -farm commune. I don’t care if you want to do nothing all day except golf. I don’t care if you want to sell everything you own, move into cave on a mountaintop in Peru and spend the rest of your life in silent meditation while ignoring the rest of world. I don’t care if you want fame, fortune, and your face on the cover every magazine out there. I don’t care if you want to be a stay-at-home mother with 5 kids, a white picket fence and a dog. And I don’t care if you want to do all of the above at one point or another.

It would be boring if we all wanted the same things

Deciding that any of the above (or anything else for that matter) is wrong is a completely subjective judgement call. And who are we to decide what constitutes an acceptable dream for another person? As long as we aren’t hurting ourselves or anyone else, and as long as we find joy in what we are doing, then what does it matter if someone wants something that you would never in a million years choose for yourself? What a dull and boring world it would be if we all wanted do, have, be, and experience the same things!

The point that I am trying to make here is that no one has the right to tell you that you can’t want what you want. If you want to be fabulously wealthy, then you have every right to want that for yourself. There is nothing wrong with wanting more in your life.

The importance of appreciation

I think the confusion around this idea of wanting more in life comes from the clash with where we are right now. Appreciating all that we have at whatever stage we are currently at is really important. Gratitude (although I don’t like that term because it’s become kind of loaded… I prefer “appreciation”…) really is the foundation upon which you build your better life.

Appreciate everything that you already have in life, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is. If like attracts like, then appreciation of what is will attract more to be appreciative of. But it’s got to be genuine; fake gratitude just for the sake of trying to get something else isn’t going to work, because you’re not truly grateful in that case, and that’s the wrong kind of energy to be sending out there. So just focus on being honestly grateful for whatever abundance already exists in your life.

The foundation for what will be

This does not, in any way, mean that you can’t or shouldn’t have greater abundance in your life; by all means work on that and get excited about the possibilities! Dream big and want whatever it is that you want – you’re allowed to, and you are meant to. But never allow those dreams to make you complacent or indifferent to what you already have; don’t take what already is for granted. Be happy with where you are while you work to create where you want to be. This is the foundation for everything.

photo credit: cc (modified by me)

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