How Can I Control My Mind pinToday we’re answering a question from an awesome reader who wants to know how she can control her mind to lead a happier life, and not get dragged down by negativity and the people around her. She says:

I don’t know what I want and what to do. I tried applying Law of Attraction, too, by seeing The Secret and all, but it all seems fake, like my mind is rejecting those notions. I just want to be happy and contented but negative thoughts discourage me. I have faced many hardships in life, like financial worries, being backstabbed by people I consider friends and so on. Still, I try to be positive and move on. Every morning I wake to positive thoughts and visualize a happy day and all, but then at the end of the day all frustration returns. Just when I think things are settling down something worse happens and I am back to square one. I just want to have happiness in life. How can I control my mind to not get hurt by fake people and be happy? Please guide me.

Wanting a change is the first step in making one

First off, the fact that you WANT to make a change in your mindset and make that shift from a negative outlook to a more positive outlook is wonderful, and it means that things could start changing for you fairly quickly, so don’t lose hope, even though it seems like you’re not making any progress so far.

From what you’ve described here, it sounds like what you’re dealing with is what we call “resistance“. In your specific case, you’re trying to make too big of a mental and emotional stretch too soon. You can’t jump from a really negative mindset to a really positive one all at once – it’s just too different from what you’ve gotten used to, and your subconscious mind is feeling threatened and is interfering in your ability to create that more positive outlook.

When resistance strikes, start small

So, what we do when we’re experiencing this kind of resistance is start smaller. Much smaller. Instead of waking up and telling yourself “This is going to be a happy day”, which just makes your subconscious mind yell “Yeah right! It’s not going to be a happy day, it’s never a happy day!” you start with something less threatening.

Try something like “Maybe today will be a little bit better than yesterday. I’m open to things being just a tiny bit better than they were yesterday. After all, stranger things have happened. Days that are a little bit less bad could happen.”

Reaching for something that is just a little bit better, that feels just a little bit better, than where you are now will help to move you closer to where you want to be without waking that cranky dragon in your mind. If you can keep from rousing its suspicions that you’re trying to change the situation that it has become used to, it won’t try to interfere so much.

Use the power of gratitude

The other thing that I would absolutely recommend, and thing that will probably make the biggest difference in your life, is that every night before you go to sleep, think back through your day and deliberately look for good things that happened.

Look for three good things that happened every single day, and don’t stop looking until you find those three things (at least three). Even if all you can think of are things like “it was sunny”, “the girl at the coffee shop said hello to me”, “I got a parking space that was closer to the building than usual”. Find three things that were good and concentrate on feeling grateful for them.

Genuine gratitude for what we already have in life is one of the most powerful tools we have available to us. Do this exercises every night before you go to sleep, and it WILL start to make a big difference in your life. By focusing on what is already good and happy in your life will help you to make that mental and vibrational shift and will help to pave the way for more positive things to be drawn into your life.

photo credit: cc (modified by me)

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