In my last article I talked about the reasons why, paradoxically, when you start making positive changes in your life it is often met with negativity from those around you, and I gave you some tips for how to deal with that kind of hostility. Today I want to get into some of the other aspects of how your connections with others can impact your life and your ability to succeed with your goals, and how to tell if it’s time to move on from relationships that aren’t serving you.
Why the right connections are important
The connections we have with other people have a real impact on our lives because the people we surround ourselves with and spend the most time with affect our moods, our perspectives and attitudes. Attitudes are contagious, and if you’re constantly bombarded by negativity via other people’s comments and actions, it will start to rub off on you. And when you have a big dream that you want to turn into reality, when you’re trying to do something wonderful with your life and become everything that you know you can be, this negative cesspool swirling around you can spell the end of that dream before it even gets out of the gate.
For example, how likely are you to be able to achieve your dream if those around you are constantly telling you it can’t be done, that dreams are foolish and futile, that life’s a bitch and then you die, that the 1% has screwed over the little guy, that people are stupid and mean and selfish and evil and that’s just the way it is. If you’re like me, you can feel the downshift in your vibrational energy just by reading all that negative muck. (Ick.)
But now, I want you to think about the fact that dreams come true for people every single day, that every great achievement in this world started out as someone’s dream and that the Universe itself is waiting with bated breath to see what you’re going to do with your dream, that most people are wonderful, helpful and good, that there is kindness and love and laughter and joy all around us, that anyone who wants to can do and become whatever they want. Can you feel the difference? Can you feel the vibrational upshift when you read those words?
This is why it’s so important to be careful with who and what you’re surrounding yourself with in your everyday life. This, incidentally, is also why so many of us who work in this field have stopped watching the evening news – it’s skewed to show only the bad stuff in the world, which can’t help but have an effect on how you perceive the world. If all you hear day in and day out is how much everything sucks, of course you’re going to start feeling the same way. And when you start giving in to that negativity, you stop working on your dream and give up in defeat… because everyone else has, so it must just be “the way things are”.
Letting go of dysfunctional connections
Your life will take on the characteristics of your thoughts, and your thoughts are affected by the company you keep. So if you’re trying to make some real, positive changes in your life, you may need to start re-evaluating the wisdom of some of your personal relationships.
Do the people you spend the most time with highlight your best qualities or do they constantly point out your worst qualities? Do they inspire you to keep going and achieve the things you want to, or do they constantly tell you all the reasons why they think your dreams are ridiculous, selfish, unacceptable or otherwise unattainable? Are they optimistic or pessimistic? Do you feel more upbeat when you’re around them or do you feel drained? If your connections with others are detrimental to you, if they’re making you feel more bad than good, then maybe it’s time to let go. Let go, and trust that the right connections are out there and that they will find you.
The connections we have with others can really have a massive impact on our lives. Attitudes are contagious, so making sure that the attitudes and perspectives of those around us are in harmony with the kind of life that we want to create is important to being able to get ourselves there. If we surround ourselves with negativity, those attitudes soak their way into our subconscious and colour everything that we think, say and do. But if we surround ourselves with positivity, optimism, encouragement and hope, then these are the things we will start to create in our lives. So what kind of connections will you choose?
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Dream. Believe. Achieve.
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So, dreaming is not bad but something we must do being here! People think it is bad and a waste if time. But I find that sometimes, it helps with getting me in the vortex. What spits me out is bad memories I dwell on or people’s comments I take to heart. Even mystics say that you can just calmly nod yes to the person firing at you, but inside stick with what you want. Their secret is that they stay calm at a times. Even when mugged once, the mugger got frightened of the fact that the mystic was so calm that he left him alone!
I guess we should create an invisible shield around us that does not allow for anything negative to penetrate. I just don’t see how I am made the target of negative stuff when I do not act that way towards others at all. They take it as not caring and the truth is I do not. I want everyone to be happy and healthy without prying or imposing my beliefs on anyone. Not that my beliefs are anything to be imposed. One is free to choose as he/she wishes and try things out. I never followed the crowd and this has helped greatly!
Of course dreams are a good thing! Every single amazing, awesome, wonderful, incredible thing that has ever been achieved in this world — every last one — started off as someone’s dream! Dreams are where everything begins. They are the starting point of every act of creation. They are vital to the very nature of humanity, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. (Getting off my soapbox now…)
Can you see how trying to ward off all forms of negativity is a form of resistance? Hiding the fact that you’re actually focusing on that very same negativity that you’re trying to resist? And what you resist, of course, is what persists. Instead of trying to fight the negativity, just accept it. Negativity is a part of human nature, and even the most advanced “gurus” out there still fall prey to it now and then, guaranteed; otherwise, they wouldn’t be human. What they are able to do, however, is to acknowledge it without fighting it. Just gently acknowledging that it’s there, that you’re feeling it… and that this is OK… is often enough to make it loosen it’s hold on you. This is not something that comes naturally to most people, and it’s something that most of us have to work on. But the more you do it (and this works with any kind of negative emotion, by the way) the easier and more effective it gets. Just observe your emotions and reactions, be OK with all of them, and allow them to flow through you without taking root.