Turn a negative emotional situation around with the healing lessons found in LOA!
I have a wonderful guest post to share with you today, from the lovely Carole Remy (aka Mary Carol Moran)! Today’s post delves into the subject of how other people’s emotions affect our own, and how we can turn a seemingly negative interaction around by understanding the basic Law of Attraction principles behind the interaction, and the healing lessons that they offer us. Take it away, Carole! 🙂
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Thanks for inviting me to write a guest post for your blog, Nathalie. Your timing is perfect, and I always love visiting and interacting with your awesome readers! *rubbing hands* Here we go!
Sometimes problems, issues, and barriers are easier to see in others than in ourselves. Make that all the time!
A while ago a friend complained to me about someone being ungrateful. The ranting continued for weeks. Gradually, I realized that the ranter could only have been triggered by something that prompted a little niggle of guilt in herself. She FELT ungrateful, and therefore she saw the quality in others.
With the ripple effect so characteristic of the Law of Attraction, the friend began to act toward me in a way that felt ungrateful to me. Aha! I felt the resentment, the anger, the disappointment and hurt, but now it felt like her actions caused these emotions in me.
Next step? I acted in a way that felt bad to me, that felt like I was disappointing someone dear. It felt like a compulsion to be hurtful!
Stepping back a pace from the chain reaction of emotions, I saw that resentment, ingratitude, disappointment and hurt, those nasty emotions I thought I had vanquished, were back for round two.
Healing Lessons #1: Realize what’s wrong
Thank you to the originator who first triggered me! Thank you so much! When we don’t even realize something is a problem, a lingering psychic wound, how can we heal it? Pulling the buried pain out of the darkness is a blessing.
The surfacing created a few months of discomfort, of not liking myself very much, of feeling less connected to my Soul. Even now, I hurt, but I’m ready at last to feel better.
Healing Lessons #2: Heal a psychic wound
How do we heal a psychic wound? That’s a huge question, and the steps will be different for each person. For me, the way back from the disappointment of feeling hurt, even abandoned, is two-fold.
The first step for me is to recognize the process. In simple terms, to write this post. Putting the words on paper helps me detach, helps me let go of anger and fill my heart with love for the wonderful friend who triggered this expansion of my consciousness. That sounds a bit too good to be true (I’m no saint!), and it isn’t consistent for me, but the more love I give, the better I feel. Feeling good feels good.
[I could put in a step where I recognize my own place in the cycle, that I attracted whatever has entered my reality. Honestly, that step feels a bit like blaming, so I’m ignoring it! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I attracted it. So what. Let’s move on.]
The second step for me is idiosyncratic as hell. I have no idea if this would work for anyone else, but right now I am finding particular comfort in small sensory pleasures. The cool water in the shower makes me relax and grin! The scent of wood smoke. Ahhh. Not meaning a product plug, but these days a spritz of L’Occitane Eau de Toilette Verveine lifts my spirits so much I have to laugh at myself. And I don’t even like perfume!
This morning I loved the feel of putting a sock on my foot. What did I tell you? Weird! I suggest you find your own idiosyncratic pleasures, and indulge. No need to tell all in a blog post, just enjoy!
Healing Lessons #3: Pay attention to what annoys you
Perhaps the most important lesson for me is to pay attention to whatever annoys me. Anything that triggers me is a reflection of something inside myself that I don’t like. It’s easiest to see this from a physical example.
If someone thinks I should color my gray hair, I smile and say I like it the way it is. NO emotional trigger. If someone looks at me like maybe I could lose a few pounds, HUGE emotional trigger. Reach for the nearest chocolate!
The inner wisdom part is a bit trickier. If I feel hurt by a person, it’s not because they hurt me. It’s because I don’t like that I acted unlovingly toward someone. Ouch. If I’m annoyed that someone moved the scissors, what has been activated is a fear of my own forgetfulness, of one day no longer being able to find things and live independently. No wonder tiny things can trigger such out of proportion responses!
Dissecting ourselves to pieces over every emotion isn’t a practical or pleasant way to live. My suggestion is a quick, glancing hmm… What does this tell me about myself? And then let go and move on.
Let me close by saying thank you again to everyone and everything that annoys me! You are beautiful, wonderful signposts on the route of my lovely and amazing life.
What are your triggers? Can you see in your own life how something that bothers you is really about an aspect of yourself that you don’t particularly like? How do you jump start yourself back to serenity? Let’s have a lively conversation in the comments! Thanks again, Nathalie, for inviting me to your awesome blog! Much love, and many hugs!
Thanks so much for another awesome post, Carole!
I like the idea of acknowledging that you’ve done something to manifest an unwelcome occurence in your life, but then just letting it go and moving on without wallowing in it. On the one hand, it would probably be useful to know how you brought the incident into your life, but on the other hand, focusing on it too much might just bring more of it into your life. I guess it’s a balancing act between learning from your own actions/emotions and focusing on them to such an extent that they again trigger the same sorts of events.
I also find that writing things down helps me to better understand them… hence the blog, I suppose! 😉
Acknowledging but not wallowing seems to be a good practice for just about everything, Nathalie. I like your terminology.
Writing, balancing, experiencing then letting go—it’s all part of our journey on the planet. When we realize than nothing lasts very long, even pain, it’s a little easier to be contented. Sometimes joy is even more of a challenge than pain, because we want so badly to cling. Ironic!
Hugs,
Carole
Thanks so much for inviting me, Nathalie! Your blog is lovely and your readers are awesome! Can’t wait to talk with everyone!
Carole
MC,
I love finding you like this across blogs! Haha! And I was going to post this question somewhere on this blog so I can get some insight.
As we have mentioned about our empathic abilities, I can point out that you may really be feeling the other person’s vibe that is triggering all this stuff, if you cannot really explain it with LOA. What I mean is, as an empath, you really can feel the vibes of others, especially the lower ones. I have been really noticing this lately.
Positive vibrating people I immediately connect with and the frequencies meet to become bigger. With lower vibrating people, for lack of better terminology at this point, I just feel their anger, resentment and bitterness, not aimed at me or has anything to do with me, but with them in general. Others may just say they do not like them or they are not likable, but I actually feel all this.
It is great to be intuitive to avoid lots of grief in life, but how can we keep from getting rattled by this? Like, instead of feeling weird, like trembling for a moment or feeling a wave of yuck over me, how can I counter that so that I do not lose my vibe? Or, are we just supposed to experience these things and just roll with it, as we will get used to it?
That’s interesting… I had something happen to me a while back that sounds like it could have been something like this. I was on a bus and woman got on and was quite rude the bus driver. She never once looked at me or spoke to me personally, but the second she stepped on the bus and even before she said anything to the driver, I felt like I was being buffeted by waves of hostility and anger, not directed purposely at me, but just being flung out all over the place from this woman. It lasted the whole time she was on the bus and instantly cleared the second she got off. It was the strangest thing because it had never happened before, and hasn’t happened since. Even with the occasional passenger being hostile towards drivers, I’ve never felt that kind of psychic pounding (don’t know what else to call it) since then. (Which I am most grateful for, because it was horribly uncomfortable to be trapped on that bus with that happening!)
I know Nathalie!
If it is indeed aimed at me, then I have techniques to handle these situations: I send the person love, do the white shield around me and around them (separately, not together) thing, not deal with them since they bark at me so I just avoid them as they want me to and as they do me, or, as I was recently instructed, calmly and coolly ask in an interested voice why they are blowing up. All of these work and there are more, but this can be done.
In the other case, as you so well state in your example, it seems as proof that we need to acknowledge that there are such vibes and know, in such cases, who to approach and who not to. At least we know when others do not.
Hi again A!
I know what you mean about the difference between expected and unexpected hostility. If we know what to expect, we prepare. For example, I managed to teach for a gazillion years because I KNEW that what the kids threw at me were their issues and not mine. I don’t mean I taught awful kids, but their issues would surface and the teacher is often the convenient adult target.
What hits me hard is getting blindsided in a situation I thought was safe. I’ve been in a yoga class meditation and been psychicly bombarded by a fellow meditator! Arggg. As you suggest, talking can help in some situations, but often the person has no idea what they are projecting. Sometimes avoidance is the only solution. I had to quit the yoga class, which felt fair since it was a public class and it would have been just wrong for the teacher to ask the other person to leave.
The tricky part for me these days is not to withdraw completely from society and become a hermit, something that I think tempts a lot of empaths.
Huge hugs for both you and Nathalie! What a great conversation!
Carole
Hi Nathalie,
My responses are a bit out of sync. Hope you and A can sort out what goes where!
Your bus example sounds like something I’ve experienced occasionally. I’m sorry it happened to you! Once I was in a meeting where I picked up that someone was angry enough to blow up the building! There were about 200 to 300 people, and no one was visibly angry, but the incident threw off my equilibrium for days. I have avoided that group of people since then.
It CAN feel like someone is pounding on your walls. The best thing to do in that case, I think, is to leave. Fortunately, physical space usually seems to help. Though I wonder sometimes with the Internet if we can pick up vibes from people, even if they are half the world away!
What an interesting world!! Hugs,
Carole
Hi A! Nice to see you here too! You always ask such interesting questions.
I wish I had a concrete answer on how to hold onto your vibe, but I’m afraid I’m not very good at it myself. For me what works best is to try to recognize that I’ve picked something up, and to get back to my own space/center as soon as I can. I wish I could ‘shield’ (sounds like you are better at that than I am). As you put it, I do get ‘rattled’ a lot, but the moments of joy and connection make up for the down bits.
Hugs,
Carole
Thanks so much, MC for your responses and thank you Nathalie for posting this important topic. The same thing happens with negativity. I have no idea how some people live swimming in that negativity of theirs. When speaking with them, I can get sick to my stomach or feel pain in my chest or stabs in the heart. It may or may not be aimed at me, but generally negativity is detrimental, at least to me, so I avoid those people. I realize they are used to living that way and it may not even be apparent to them or so much to others, but I really feel it and do myself a favor and exit stage right.
MC, that is really something with the yoga meditations! Good thing you left. It’s for your own good. And yes, a balance must be found so that life is not lived as a hermit, which you are so well figuring out.
Hi A,
Space helps. So does coffee! Just kidding, but it’s Saturday morning and I’m ready for a second cup. Hope you have a lovely weekend, full of positive people and happy times! Hugs,
Carole
I’m a big quote person because we can learn a lot from a couple of lines of wisdom and I just came across this quote by Anthony de mello: “what you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.” At least we are aware. That’s important.
I like that quote, A. Thanks. Here’s one my Dad always used to say. It’s helps me take everything with large doses of compassion, including toward myself. the quote is paraphrased from Richard S. Gilbert.
“We have to remember that we are all more human than otherwise.”
Have a lovely Saturday!
Carole
Good one, MC, but my spirit is bursting! I like going by universal laws which run the universe and not societal ones, that are full of flaws, of which I as reminded speaking with my mom this morning, who follows what others do and say and is clueless about a lot of stuff.
Enjoy!!!!
Just remember that your Mom is on her won path, A, which is PERFECT for her!
Universal laws are awesome, but impossible to truly understand. That could be why we humans make our own smaller laws, not the truth but at least fathomable.
Echo Enjoy!!
That’s exactly right, MC. You got it and thanks for the reminder!
I think it is so much easier to go with the flow instead of swimming upstream…finding the source of what is making you that way.
It’s hard work, but in the end, you realize that what will make you better, what that force was that made you keep floating away, was you all along.
Great post.
Thanks for commenting, Kimberly!
Going with the flow is SO much more comfortable! From the Taoist perspective, we can find the flow and float. Who needs struggling! Relax and breathe… Ahhh…
Thanks for the reminder! Hug,
Carole
Exactly! This is so perfectly LOA, too — when you fight against something, you’re putting all your focus and emotion on it, which just causes more of what you’re fighting against. If you turn around, go with the flow and just steer yourself gently in the direction of what you want, then that is what you’ll get more of. I’m remembering something Esther Hicks mentioned in one her books (probably “The Vortex”) where she talked specifically about not trying to paddle upstream, and she said that nothing you want is upstream. Everything you want is downstream, so stop fighting.