Sometimes when you’re building a big dream, you run into roadblocks; sometimes, no matter how hard you try, something you really wanted to happen just doesn’t pan out for you, and you’re left wondering how to deal with setbacks that leave you feeling so despondent that it threatens to derail your whole dream.
One of my awesome Vibe Shifters Tribe members posted a comment in the group a couple of weeks ago, talking about a failed attempt at manifesting something she had been hoping for. She had recently been on a streak of manifesting awesomeness (things were lining up perfectly for her all over the place) and this sudden, unexpected bump in the road threw her for a bit of loop. And to top it off, she was now feeling the heat from her family over how long it was taking her to manifest her dream.
One of my manifestations fell through. No go. Forget worrying, I need guidance with the fact that I am living something in my dreams and in my head and heart, yet here I am in this reality. Of course, things are progressing and I acknowledge this and am deeply thankful for it, but my mom said I am an “old woman” (in her mind, this is how she thinks, I actually get compliments on my youth and vitality and we no longer live in a time where everything is done by 25) and she does not understand all the delays.
When you’re working on a a bid dream and suddenly find yourself having to deal with a big setback, it is SO important not to get stuck in that mindset space where you start to feel sorry for yourself and then start doubting yourself and your ability to actually achieve what it is that you’re trying to accomplish. If you’re in the same type of situation as my awesome tribe member, here are a few strategies to help your deal with your setback and get back into alignment with your dreams:
Tip #1: Fix your focus.
Stop focusing on the ONE manifestation that you haven’t achieved yet and focus on all the flippin’ manifestation miracles you’ve been pulling off all over the place lately, instead! It’s so easy to get stuck on our failures and forget about all our progress and successes along the way, but it’s so important to acknowledge everything that we’ve done to move ourselves closer to our big dreams and goals.
It's so easy to get stuck on our #failures & forget about all the progress we've actually made Click To TweetWhen we stay focused on all that we’ve accomplished, we pave the way for even more accomplishments and success in the future. Don’t let your frustrations and sadness over a setback spell the end of your journey – your dream can still come true, even if this particular attempt didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. A detour does not mean the end of the road!
Tip #2: Remember who’s in charge.
Your mom doesn’t get to choose your timeline. She’s your mom and she worries about you. And she’s comparing your timeline to her own… but you were born in a different world than she was. Most parents just want their kids to be happy, healthy, and safe. All the annoying “parent stuff” usually comes from that place, even if it comes across in a different way. Give her a big hug, thank her for caring about you, and then keep doing your thing.
You’re the only one who gets to wield creative control over your own life story! #successtips Click To TweetThis goes for anyone else who tries to interfere with your dreams. Your dreams are your dreams and other people do not get to call the shots on them; they have their own dreams and their own life that can shape as they see fit, but you’re the only one who gets to wield creative control over your own life story.
Tip #3: You’re only as old as you feel.
About six months ago, my periodontist told me that I’m “not a young woman anymore” and I didn’t know whether to smack him upside the head or start laughing at the fact that he would say something so obviously insulting and stupid to a woman. When I got home and thought about what would possess him to say something like that, I realized it was because it was something that I, myself, had started worrying about (first gray hair… I was in denial, what can I say).
The reality is, I was getting carded for buying lottery tickets (not even alcohol, for heaven’s sake… scratch-and-win tickets for stocking stuffers!) until I was almost 30, and I still don’t look anywhere near my actual age, so I think it was my own energy and fears that brought that comment to me.
Which is my long-winded way of saying: don’t let other people make you feel that your age has any kind of bearing on your ability to build your dreams. Yes, there have been CEOs of multi-million dollar companies who launched their businesses as teenagers, but there are far more stories out there about people who didn’t become successful until they were over 40.
Tip #4: Choose your vibe.
Pick the vibe you want to resonate with and focus on that. If you feel really horrible about something that went wrong, let it flow through you… and then get over it. If you continue to focus on feeling bad about it and subjecting yourself to a never-ending guilt trip, that is going to mess up your vibe, big-time.
Think about it – when you’re feeling really down, do you feel like doing anything productive? Do you feel like you deserve your dreams? Do you feel like doing anything to make those dreams a reality? If you’re like most people, the answer to any and all of those questions is a big, fat, resounding “NO!” For most of us, the only thing we want to do when we feel bad about ourselves and our abilities is to curl up on the couch with a soft blanket, a big bowl of ice cream, and a whole lot of Netflix.
#Setbacks happen; pick yourself up & don't get bogged down in self-recrimination! #successtips Click To TweetYou need to keep yourself out of that danger zone and refocus yourself on what you want to feel: inspired, excited, and ready to take on the world! Do whatever you need to do to get yourself back into alignment with your dreams and don’t get bogged down in self-recrimination.
Next time you’re feeling bad about a setback, give these four tips a try! And if you have a tip for how to deal with setbacks that isn’t listed here, please share it below! 🙂
Photo credit: Zach "Pie" Inglis / Foter / CC BY-NC
How can we better receive, Nathalie? Any tips on that?
Hi A. — Can you be a little more specific with this? What do you mean by receiving? Are you talking about manifesting particular things, or about aligning with what you want, or about recognizing synchronicity, or something else?
While I generally agree on not letting other people make you feel your age limits your dreams, there are certain circumstances of age that do need to be taken into consideration on building dreams and what kinds of dream. It is like a one legged man determined he will regrow the leg that is missing. Probably not. Now he might get an artificial prosthetic, but an orginal leg, not without a lot more scientific breakthroughs than we already have. In the same manner a 90 year old probably needs to adjust some on dream building, like “In the next 40 years I will achieve such and such” Probably not.
There was the recent story on the 102 year old being awarded her PhD, after being denied it due to her Jewish heritage the first time. Also, many people go to grad school in their 50s and do really well. Just pointing out some things that may happen and are possible. A 90 year old can certainly publish a book. There are also young 90 year olds and old ones, waiting to roll over and die. It is all relative.
I think the ones that do the best are the ones who don’t see themselves as “old”. It’s not that they’re “not acting their age”, it’s that they won’t allow a number to dictate how they feel on the inside. They focus themselves more on possibilities and on enjoying living, rather than worrying about how many years are left. Their alignment is in a better place.
Hi Ian — I started writing a response to this but it’s turning into a separate blog post. This is something I feel very strongly about, so look for my response either end of next week, or the week after that. The short version, however, is this: it doesn’t matter how old you are. If you’ve got a dream, you can still do it. No, you’re not going to be first soprano with the national opera if you’re starting at 90, but you CAN audition with your local musical theatre group. You CAN write that book you’ve always talked about. You CAN start a business. You CAN do a whole lot of stuff… but only if you stop focusing on all the stuff you CAN’T do and spending your days counting your remaining breaths.
Basically, how can we receive what’s already waiting for us in non-physical? I it is there for us, and how can we bring it into our reality here? I imagine there are many ways, you will say, but any tips to this can help. It is where we do not see it, so how can we not only see it but live it?
This is where all that alignment stuff comes into play. Until you’re a match for it, it’s difficult to try and draw it fully into your physical existence. There are a bunch of articles that cover different ways to get into alignment with what you want filed under the alignment tag.