About that big dream of yours… what’s it worth to you, and how badly do you want it? Are you willing to go the distance to make it happen or is it just one of those things you like to think about as a “maybe someday”… a pretty little bauble that you like to keep on a shelf, only occasionally dusting it off to stare into its beautiful, sparkly depths.
Here’s the thing. Tomorrow, we are officially into November. In two months’ time, 2014 will be over. An entire year will have gone by and a new one will begin. What have you done so far this year to get yourself closer to turning your big dream into reality? That wonderful vision that you have for yourself and your life – how much closer are you to actually living it? Have you honestly done everything you know you could have done to start building the foundation for what you really want in life? Or did you keep everything status quo, telling yourself you had all year and you’d “get to it later?”
[powerpress]
I want you to really look inside your heart here, and ask yourself if you’ve done everything you could (while still meeting your other responsibilities, of course) to build that vision? Have you honestly given everything that you had in you to give, taken all the action you knew you were capable of taking to make it happen?
What is it that you really want?
I’m guessing that you haven’t. Don’t worry – I’m not nagging, and there’s no judgement here. The truth is, most of us will NOT have done anywhere near what we were capable of doing this year. We are all guilty of this – we all get overwhelmed sometimes, we all let opportunities pass us by sometimes, and we all let fear override our plans sometimes. Everyone is busy, and everyone is tired, and sometimes it’s just so much easier to let things slide with a Netflix binge rather than work towards something that still seems so impossibly, discouragingly, far away.
And sometimes, that kind of downtime is just what we need to regenerate and recharge our batteries so we can continue our journeys. But when these downtimes start happening frequently, or when they last too long, you have to start asking yourself why. And you have to take a good look at that dream of yours. Is it still what you really want? If not, that’s OK – your dreams are allowed to change, and if it’s not what you want anymore, then figure out what it is that you do want.
But if it is what you want, then you really do need to ask yourself how badly you actually want it. You need to ask yourself if you’re really committed to the dream, or if you’re just interested in it, because there is a BIG difference between just liking an idea, and actually being committed to it.
Are you just interested or are you committed?
When it comes to your dream — that vision you have in your head of what you’d like your life to be like — if you don’t want it enough to go all out; if you’re not willing to go the distance and put everything you’ve got into making it happen; if you’re not prepared to take risks to see it through, then you’re not committed to it, you’re just interested in it.
Interest is OK. It’s good to be interested in things. But “interested” doesn’t build dreams, and dabblers are not the architects of greatness. Only commitment can turn a dream into reality.
For example, a lot of people like the idea of running your own business and being your own boss, but only committed people are willing to go the distance, put in the hours, take the risks, accept full responsibility for success or failure, and be comfortable enough with the lack of security, stability (and pension and benefits packages) to make it happen. When people realize that an entrepreneur’s ability to pay her bills, buy her groceries, and meet her mortgage payments is entirely her own responsibility, that entrepreneurial shine tends to wear off rather quickly for most people.
Commitment means taking action
Most people like to daydream about things, but they’re not willing to put in the kind of work and take the kind of risks that are necessary to actually build those dreams. The ones that are willing to do what it takes prove it with their actions. If you say that you want something, but your actions aren’t backing that up, then you don’t want it badly enough. You need to align your actions with what you say you want if you ever expect to have anything to show for it.
Success does not happen overnight. Ever. Success comes from years of dedication and willingness to do the work necessary to actually build in reality, that vision that once existed only in your mind. Ya gotta be willing to walk the talk if you really want to live that dream.
A preview of next week’s special edition show!
Next week I’ll be broadcasting a special edition of The Vibe Shifting Show. I’m going to be making a big announcement next week, so you don’t want to miss that show. I’m also going to tell you how you can “save” this year and still pull off some incredible, dream-building miracles before the curtain closes. You do this, and you will KNOW without doubt that YOU CAN make your dream come true for yourself. You do this, and it’s going to start shifting everything for you.
But it all starts with YOU. You have to decide whether your dream means enough to you to actually go for it. So, what I want you to do this week is take some time to sit down and think about it. What kind of life do you really want for yourself? What is that dream of yours that you’ve been holding on to for so long? Is it important enough that you’re willing to go all out and start taking big steps towards it? Or are you happy to leave things just as they are and let that dream go (that’s OK, too, but you need to be clear in your own mind about what it is you really want).
So I’m going to ask you one more time: How badly do you want it?
photo credit: (c) Can Stock Photo
HELLO, Nathalie!
I enjoy all of your posts, but today especially–sometimes we need a little motivational talk and a reminder that action is a crucial part of making our dreams happen.
Although I haven’t left a comment in a long time, I have been reading your posts and gleaning insight from them, and I appreciate all that you put into them.
Earlier this year, I had a sort of serendipitous opportunity drop into my lap to do something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child; I had let that desire and dream get buried under all that is. You know the famous quote from John Lennon: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”. As it turns out, I do enjoy doing what I’m doing, but as I’ve grown and evolved, I realize it is only a stepping stone to an ultimate goal. I can see too, that as opportunities and inevitable setbacks do come, we have to realize that these things are only as permanent as we allow them to be. One great thing about dreams and interests is that they often grow with us. However, if they don’t turn out to be what we thought, we can either work to change the results or the outcomes or we can change our minds.
I think, though, that the distraction of one dream may be keeping me from realizing another. Not sure yet if this is a step along the path or a detour. Right now my lesson seems to be finding balance.
All the best to you!
Hello to you, too, Ayla! Always lovely to see your comments, and I’m so glad you’re finding the posts helpful. 🙂
My question — did you jump on that opportunity and do it??? Was it everything you’d hoped it would be, or did it make you realize that your dreams and desires had changed over the course of the years (which is absolutely OK… dreams are allowed to change with you)?
You bring up an important point — a lot of what I talk about here deals with the area of people not being happy with what they are currently doing (and what to do about that), because there are so many people who are in that boat. But it’s so important to understand that if you’re not in that boat, then that’s wonderful! Also, even if your day job is not exactly what you want to be doing, it’s entirely possible to continue doing that job, and finding satisfaction and even enjoyment in it, while doing what you love on the side. Everyone’s story and circumstances are different, and the way we build our best lives will also be different.
In terms of dreams evolving with us, it is also very common to be in a situation where you enjoy what you do but start to feel a calling towards something else over time. Sometimes I think that all our experiences are stepping stones in that sense — they are all part of our ongoing journey, and each new phase of that journey builds on the ones that came before. When we experience those inevitable bumps along the road, it’s our thoughts and beliefs about them that determine the extent to which they will affect us or hold us back. And you are absolutely right — no goal is ever written in blood… if we get to where we thought we wanted to be, we are absolutely allowed to change our minds and head off in a new direction. If we get part-way to where we wanted to be, we’re allowed to change our minds. Ultimately, no one gets to decide what our lives will be except us.
P.S. About the two dreams… why do you have to choose? Why not do both? Is there anyway that the two can be combined to create something even more awesome? 🙂
Wow, Nathalie–thanks for that wonderful reply! You always give me much to think about.
Oh, yes, I jumped on that opportunity. And as a result I was able to do something I never would have fathomed would happen in my lifetime. And when I was imagining it way back when, I thought it would be the ultimate… and it kinda was, but then things didn’t quite play out in the most ideal way. I think that this new age of technology (more so online versus in print, is what’s keeping me from enjoying it so much. It’s the lack of tangibility. But I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth… 🙂
As for the two dreams (did I say there were only two? Well, two big ones but many in all), it’s a matter of Time. They all take time to nurture, develop, and produce. And that includes Motherhood. Ideally I would be able to really put my all into the first opportunity, keep plugging away at the others, and all the while be the mother my kids need (which often is just to be there, fully with them). But alas, oftentimes while one thing flourishes, the others wither. It’s a juggling act, for sure. I still live in the Stone Age, so I don’t have a smartphone or anything like that, thus my distractions are fewer than some, but nonetheless, the wheels are always turning (playing Barbies while my brain is being flooded with lyrics or music or ideas for the next article. And of course there’s homework, supper, chores… 🙂 )
My hat’s off to anybody who can do it all and find a way to ensure each endeavor and loved one gets enough attention. But I like what you said. Why choose?
Who was it that said, “We live in a world of AND, not OR”?
Yes, they do all take time to nurture. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be working on more than one thing at the same time. I tend to go all out at one thing, and get super-intensely focused on it and working at it for a while, but then there’s a point that I get to where I can’t do it anymore — I need to switch gears and work on something else (which I can do just as intensely, as long as it’s different than what I was doing before) before going back to what I was doing. It’s just the way my mind tends to work. Dive right in, and then move on and then come back to it. Like a bee buzzing around a field of flowers, I guess — they don’t feel the need to concentrate on one flower and one alone, they’re free to investigate and experience as many flowers as they want to, and often go back and forth between several.
I don’t think the things I’m not working intensely on wither while I’m working on something else… it’s more like they’re simmering or marinating (which just improves the “flavour”) while I’m working on another part of a multi-course meal. 🙂
I hear you about the Barbies. It does feel like a juggling act sometime. It’s Lego and Strawberry Shortcake over here, while my brain outlines the next course I want to put together or next book I want to write. I’ve got 5 books going around my head right now, plus the course I’m launching in a few days, plus about three other courses I thought of while working on this one… I’ll get to them all in good time, as long as I find ways of keeping the ideas logged somewhere so I can revisit them later!
I am so glad you jumped on that opportunity when it came. No more wondering what it would have been like “if”… 🙂 The key thing to remember about opportunities like this is letting go of any preconceived notions of what it should be like. Things never turn out exactly the way we imagine them to, and really, why would we want them to? Where’s the fun and adventure if we know every detail and exactly how it’s going to happen? Leaving room for the Universe to work it’s magic for us allows any number of wonderful details that we never even thought of to emerge for us, often making things turn out even better than we could have imagined. I’m learning more and more that messing around with the “how” of things just tends to tangle things up… if we just start moving, doors start to open where we never would have ever guessed they could be… and then all we have to do is trust enough to walk through them.
I think Mike Dooley said it best: details are a tool, not a result. When we imagine or visualize something that we want in life, the details are just there to get us excited about it. But we need to think about them as “this or something better”. 🙂
Nathalie,
Very good post as always!!! I can’t wait to see what you have in store!
I wanted to ask about something that had been told to me. “If you are not crapping, get off the crapper.” Now, this brought me to tears but I am over it. I was just thinking I’m just not smart enough but evidence proves that I am and according to Abe Hicks, it has to do with vibration, not intelligence anyway. So that’s that. Why do people get so frustrated with you if they do not see results immediately? They tell you to forget it. I know we talked about this before but this is a common theme in dream weaving. Maybe we have to go within yet as always.
To go back to the exclamation, how about if you have the runs and can’t get the heck off? How about if you are constipated and need time? It would be nice to explore these further and I’m sorry about the metaphors but it was shouted at me. It’s not my fault.
LOL! I think if someone said that to me, I’d look at them in shock for a minute and then burst out laughing. Colourful phrase, I must say.
If your dream is that important to you, then it doesn’t matter what others think about it. They have their own lives that they can create, and they’re not allowed to mess with yours unless you allow them to by placing more value on their opinion than on your own internal guidance. Your life is YOUR life, and yours alone. You get to decide what your priorities are, you get to decide what your direction is, and you get to decide what you’re going to build with it. I’m going to quote something I wrote in my post last year about things my father taught me, because I think it’s relevant here:
“It doesn’t matter how long a project lasts if your heart is in the work. When you love what you’re doing, you don’t measure the hours it takes; you measure the amount of joy and satisfaction you get from the doing.”
Assuming you are still meeting your other responsibilities in life, then do what you love, A. Build that dream with whatever time and resources you are able to dedicate to it. If it’s something that calls to you that strongly, it’s what you need to do in order to become everything that you know you are capable of becoming. Sometimes, dreams take time to build. If it’s something that involves certifications or advanced degrees, then you can’t do that overnight, especially if it’s being done part-time, for instance. (I started a Master’s degree program over a decade ago, for example, that I never finished. I was taking night classes after working all day at my day job. In my case, I decided there were things that were more important to me than that particular degree, but if I had continued with it, it would have taken years to get all the credits, one course at a time. But if that’s what I really wanted, it would have been worth it.)
The time is going to pass no matter what you do. That’s what time does. But you’re the one who gets to decide what to do with it. If the dream is important to you, then why not use that time to build something awesome? Eventually your “creation” will be complete and all that effort will have resulted in something truly incredible. Or you could just watch TV. It really is up to you… 😉
I have to admit, that was one of the most stark metaphors I’ve ever read. But you know, it fits. And that’s what counts. 🙂 Good luck to you, A!
hi Ayla!
Actually, this metaphor makes no sense at all and the people who made it up do not know LOA principles at all. One cannot possibly compare actions to bodily functions. It does not make sense. Apples and oranges. You cannot force yourself to use the toilet. It just comes. Just like LOA, it just comes. So I guess when it comes, that is when one uses the loo. Otherwise, you are digesting to use the toilet in the future. You see? I just wanted to clarify this because this metaphor is wrong and it is misused so much. When you are ready, you go. Not the other way around. So, it does not fit. I wish people could see that. It is so obvious.
Well, you have a good point. I guess it’s all in the perspective. Dealing with it more in the literal sense here since a stomach bug hit the family, so I guess I was already in that mindset… (ugh… sorry!) Perhaps instead we could see it as making use of the opportunity when it comes and we feel the urge? I don’t know… Sometimes the urges just don’t occur and thus we can rest or push past the inaction. That in essence could apply in a Law Of Attraction sense… maybe?
Thanks, sweetie and I am sorry to hear about the bug. It will pass with TLC!
I am glad that you responded to this, becasue this phrase is so misused from the misguided, it gets me so mad. But anyway, when I tell them that they thus spent the whole time on the toilet, they shut up, but the point is, not to tell someone this when you really do not know what it means. And yes, it does have to do with inspiration. Why should someone force themselves to do something, it is just not possible. Unless they abuse themselves with laxatives, but you know what I mean.
Do many abuse, well, yes but how about if you want to go naturally, then you have to wait. I think the matter is in the waiting and how every one expects instantaneous results in the now and if you do not do it now, if this is not this case, you missed you chance when things do not go that way. and then, when all the fuss and focus is off them, does the person achieve something, after being called all sorts of nasty things. I am going through this with my family now and believe me, I would rather have the bug! I am serious. 🙂
Family is nasty and they label you when they do not even really know you. Good for those who get instantaneous results, but do not judge those who do not. They are working on it.
Love and light and a speedy recovery,
There are many reasons family is harder on us than others, not the least of which is that they may be trying to protect you — they started out with hopes and dreams, once, just like we did. But many of them started families just as the point that they had the chance to venture forth on their own and start living their lives. So their dreams were dashed as they had to cope with the realities of having children and houses and responsibilities. And it cost them dearly — everybody feels that pain when they give up on their dreams. And perhaps they’re afraid for you — afraid that you’re going to feel that same pain, too. Most of our parents wouldn’t have know how to create the kind of environment that helps people to stay connected to and explore their dreams, because they would never have experienced such an environment themselves — how could they do for us what they had never been taught, and never experienced themselves?
Bathroom metaphors aside, this is the essence of inspired action: when you feel the “urge” to take action, when it feels almost impossible not to, you know that it is inspired action, and that you’re about to accomplish amazing things. When you’re working through inspired action, you may well be working harder than you have ever worked before, but it doesn’t feel like work. It feels fun. It feels exhilarating. You’re happy, and you’re in “the zone”. Forced action on the other hand, feels forced. It’s action taken to try and make something happen; you’re taking action because you think you should be taking action to try and force something to happen. That never works out well.
P.S. Hope everyone feels better soon!