The Vibe Shifting mantra is that “if you can dream it and believe it, you can always achieve it”. This is because if you don’t believe you can do something, you won’t even try (and if you do believe, nothing will stop you!) But there’s another part to this mantra, because it’s not just about believing that you have the ability to do something — it’s also about believing that you deserve to have it happen for you. If you don’t believe that you deserve to live your dream — no matter how much you think you want it — it’s not going to happen for you, because your subconscious is going to be sabotaging every attempt you make to get there and undermining your progress at every stage.
You have nothing to prove
This phenomenon is one of the biggest dream-killers out there, and it’s so sad. Because the fact that we want what we want is enough. From a cosmic perspective, there’s nothing we have to prove, no penance we have to pay, no sacrifices we have to make in order to be deserving of what it is that we want. We are deserving of what we want by virtue of our existence alone; we were born deserving of our every dream and desire.
It’s only through the fears, negativity, and judgment that we have picked up from the outside that we come to doubt our deserving-ness. But these internalized fears are often so ingrained that we don’t even realize that we have them; we keep sabotaging ourselves by not doing what we know we need to do to get to where we want to be, and we don’t even realize that we’re doing it because, deep inside, we don’t believe we deserve to live our dreams.
Do you believe that you deserve to live your dream?
So if this is such a deeply hidden thing, then how can we even tell it’s something we’re dealing with? One of the biggest indicators of this phenomenon is chronic procrastination. I’ve talked at length about procrastination and how to deal with it before, but if you’re in a situation where none of the tricks are working and you just can’t seem to get your mojo fired up and focused then maybe it’s time to take a serious look at why that is. Because you’re probably dealing with a subconscious “crisis of faith” that’s telling you that you don’t deserve what you want most in life.
Here’s the litmus test to see if this is what’s happening: Focus on your big dream, get really clear in your mind about what it is, what it would mean. And then say out loud “I deserve to have this.” And pay very close attention to how you feel when you say it.
Is there excitement? Joy? A sense of anticipation? Or is there more of a sense of dread, discomfort, sadness or shame? Does your stomach tighten up or feel “off” when you say it? The way you feel when you tell yourself that you deserve your dream will immediately tell you what you really believe. And if anything feels the least bit off, then you know you have some serious mindset-shifting work to do. Because if your stomach is telling you that you don’t believe you deserve to have your dream come true, then you know that your expectations are not aligned with it. And it is your expectations that determine your reality.
How to make a mindset shift
So how do you make that shift and start convincing yourself that you really do deserve to have your dreams come true? Here is a 5-step process to help:
Step 1: Write it down. Write your dream down. Write out in detail what your dream is, what it would mean to you to have it come true, and your why for doing it in the first place. Really get yourself connected to the dream.
Step 2: Why don’t you deserve it? If you know for a fact that you don’t think you deserve to have it or if you’re in that fuzzy “I think I deserve it, but…” state of mind, then write down all those reasons you don’t think you deserve it, or all those “buts”. They could include things like:
- I’m not an expert. I feel like a fake.
- Other people are so much better at it than I am.
- My family thinks this is a stupid waste of time.
- I’m just being selfish.
- No one else I know has a life like that. Why should I be any different?
- I’m not pretty enough/ smart enough/ dedicated enough/ whatever enough.
- I’ve failed at everything else I’ve ever tried. This won’t be any different.
Write down every reason, every “but” that comes to mind, and don’t take the time at this point to analyse or rationalize any of them – just get them all out and written down on paper and keep writing until nothing else comes out.
Step 3: The objective response. Now it’s time to take that rational, objective look at each of your items and come up with responses to them. For each one of your reasons and “buts”, I want you to write down why it isn’t true because none of these answers are real; they’re just gremlins coming out of the woodwork to bring you down. They’re shadows, nothing more; straw men with no substance, and it’s time for you to tear them down.
Step 4: Mirror work. I’m not going to lie to you — this is the tough part. Find yourself a mirror and some quiet time where you know you won’t be interrupted. Look yourself in the eye and tell yourself, out loud, that you deserve to have this dream come true. (Fair warning — there could be tears and there could be anger. Let it happen. Let it out.) Spend three minutes with this exercise and then stop for the day. But do it again for three minutes every day until you no longer have any negative reaction to it. Keep doing it until you start to believe that it’s true.
Step 5: Use your affirmations. Only do the mirror exercise once per day, and only for a few minutes each day (it’s powerful and can be emotionally draining), but supplement the mirror work with the use of daily affirmations. For example:
- I deserve to find the perfect job.
- I deserve to be a wildly successful rock-star entrepreneur.
- I deserve to be accepted into this graduate program.
- I deserve to live in the perfect house.
- I deserve to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship.
Whatever your dream is, create a personalized affirmation to remind you how much you deserve to be living that dream. And repeat that affirmation to yourself frequently throughout the day.
This is a powerful process for breaking down any old, ingrained programming that’s affecting your beliefs about whether or not you deserve to have your dreams become a reality. It will help to clear all that old junk out of your head and pave the way for really aligning yourself with what you want.
Summing it up
Belief is a powerful thing, and belief in yourself is even more so. If you’ve been dealing with chronic procrastination and suspect that you may be dealing with a hidden, false belief that you don’t deserve to the things you want in life then try this 5-step mindset-shifting process to remind yourself that you really do — you deserve to live your dream. So align yourself with making it happen!
photo credit: pixabay.com cc (modified by me)
Dream. Believe. Achieve.
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