What happens when you fail to get important things done with respect to your big dream? When you’ve set yourself a deadline and that deadline flew by with a rush and left you with nothing to show for it? Today we’re talking about some very valid reasons why you haven’t accomplished your goals, and what you can do to get yourself back on track.
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First off, if you’re finding yourself reluctantly trailing into this New Year with feelings of recrimination or sadness or guilt because you feel like you should have gotten more done last year than you did, then just ease up on yourself. Because it’s not as bad as you think it is.
Beware pessimistic mind-traps
I see a lot of people at this time of year who get stuck in that whole “I’m a failure” kind of feeling. They start comparing their achievement “scores” for the previous year with other people’s and inevitably feel like they came up short. So they start thinking of themselves as “slackers” or “wanna-be’s” or just as outright failures.
They start beating themselves up over yet another year in which they didn’t get to where they wanted to be. And they get sad and distressed and it starts to colour their entire outlook on life and everything starts to take on a pessimistic tone.
Which, I guarantee you, will only make things worse. That kind of energy has repercussions, and I don’t want you to get stuck in that kind of self-defeating mind-trap.
Goals should not be too easy
So the first thing that I want you to keep in mind if you’re feeling any of this awful mish-mash of negativity right now is this: just because you failed at DOING something, does not mean that YOU, yourself are a failure.If you didn't achieve your goal, there's a reason. Figure it out & you'll start moving again! Click To Tweet
The second thing I want you to remember is that if you had actually achieved all your goals last year, they were probably too easy to begin with.
Goals should stretch you. Dreams should take you into a realm of magic and fantasy. And if you had actually managed to achieve ALL your goals over the past year, you either didn’t have enough of them, or you didn’t set the bar high enough.
So try thinking of it as a good thing that not everything got done the way you wanted it to.
Third of all, I want you to understand that you’re not a slacker. It’s not because you’re lazy or because you “didn’t hustle hard enough”. Believing that you’re inadequate to your goals in any way will only perpetuate the blocks and make them worse.
Reasons why you haven’t accomplished your goals
Human beings are not by nature lazy creatures. We are inexhaustibly curious, goal-seeking beings. And if we’re not doing something (not working towards our goals for example), I believe that there is always a reason for it. And once you understand that reason, the blocks dissolve and you naturally find yourself moving again.
Consider the following alternative reasons why you didn’t accomplish your goals:
- It wasn’t the right time
- You weren’t ready.
- You’re at a crossroads and there may be a new path you need follow instead.
So, let’s take a look at these, shall we?
#1. It’s not the right time.
Oftentimes, what we misinterpret as “feeling blocked” or as mindless procrastination is not so much a comment on our industriousness or diligence, but a sign that this just isn’t the right time to do what needs to be done. To everything there is a season, after all.
And if it’s not the right time, any action we try and take is going to be forced action. And forced action is almost always wasted effort and a useless waste of time. Rarely does forced action ever accomplish anything that we hope it will.
Forced action, as I’ve said before, feels like wading uphill through a river of molasses, and it’s in these types of situations where anything that can go wrong generally will.
Sidestepping forced action
Far better to step aside from whatever particular goal or action is frustrating us at the moment and concentrate our efforts elsewhere. Very often, it’s in doing something completely unrelated to the current problem that the solution will suddenly come to us. When Thomas Edison got frustrated by a problem, for example, he used to walk away and take a nap.Solutions to frustrating #problems usually come when we're doing something else. Click To Tweet
When it’s the right time and you’re ready to do what you need to do, there will be no sense of struggle or frustration. Inspired action will come to you – will flow through you – easily and effortlessly, and what you need to do will get done faster than you ever imagined it could.
When the time is right, the action usually takes care of itself. So if you were feeling blocked about last year’s goals, then maybe that’s all it was. And maybe this is the year that will end up being your right time!
#2. You weren’t ready.
The second thing that often prevents us from being able to achieve our goals is fear. If there is a part of us that is truly afraid of succeeding with our goals, we will subconsciously sabotage ourselves in order to protect ourselves from whatever it is that we fear.
In other words, if we’re just not ready to do what needs to be done, we’ll find any reason we can not to do it.
Fear is the biggest dream-killer out there. It comes in many different forms and it can stop us in our tracks until we’re able to work our way through it and dissolve the blocks that it has put in place.
I’ve written an entire book on the subject of fear – how it works, why we experience it, how to recognize the different forms, and what to do to move through it. That book is called fearLESS and it’s available as an ebook on most major ebook web sites (Amazone, Nook, Kobo, iBooks, etc.), and also as a paperback through both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I’ll put the links in the blog notes for this episode if you want to check it out.
Making fear your ally
Fear is a powerful force. And when we don’t realize that we’re experiencing it (because it can be tricky) or when we try to ignore it and pretend it’s not there… that’s when we run into trouble. That’s when we find ourselves stuck in place and unable to make progress towards what’s most important to us.
But fear, as I’ve said in my book, can also be a powerful ally. Oftentimes, the direction we most fear to go in, is the one that will bring us the greatest rewards. Oftentimes, fear is the signpost that says “this is the path to your biggest dreams”.
And once you’ve found your fearLESSness, you’ll be able to navigate the ups and downs of your dream-building path with greater confidence and ease.You can learn how to make #fear your ally & use it to create #success! Click To Tweet
#3. You’re at a crossroads.
The third reason for which we often fail to achieve our goals is because we’re at a crossroads. There is something in us that senses that change is either imminent and/or necessary. So everything kind of gets put on pause while things are being lined up in the unseen.
This is one of the most frustrating and uncomfortable kinds of situations we can ever find ourselves in. When our higher selves know that we’re no longer on our right path, but our conscious minds have yet to catch up with this fact, there is a terrible sense of discomfort and distress that we find ourselves in.
The evolution of your Self
Imagine yourself as a flower bud just before it bursts open, or a butterfly just about to crack open its cocoon. Imagine what it must feel like to be inside of those shells – what it must feel like to have some outer force compressing you on all sides, keeping you trapped, when your instinct is to get out.
It’s a good analogy for this kind of situation where you’ve gotten used to been one thing, but you’ve been slowly changing over time and now it’s just about time to evolve into something else.
You’re used to being focused one way, but these changes that you’ve experienced (and you may not even realize yet that you’ve been changing) – these changes mean that the old focus is no longer going to work for you.
Your evolved form will require a new path. And there is something in you that knows this – that realizes that the old goals are counterproductive to your imminent “emergence” or blossoming into your new form. And so that something is holding you back from expending anymore of your energy along the old path.
Getting in touch with the “new you”
If this is the case, you’re probably already aware that something feel “off” about what you’re doing, but maybe you just haven’t been able to put your finger on what, specifically, that is. It may just be a general feeling of unease or dissatisfaction with life right now.
So what you do is this: find some quiet time where you won’t be disturbed and really think about those dreams and goals of yours. Do they still mean as much to you as they did when you started out? Or are you feeling yourself pulled in a new direction? Remember that dreams evolve with you – as you gain new experiences and insight, your dreams will change and grow. They’re supposed to.
Think about what’s important to you right now – have your touchstones changed at all over the past year? If so, the perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your path and set a new direction for yourself. Maybe you didn’t achieve those goals because they’re no longer necessary for the “new you”, and that new path that you need to be on now.Sometimes feeling #stalled is a sign that we're meant to be on a different path. Click To Tweet
Summing it up
So there you have it: three reasons why you haven’t accomplished your goals. It has nothing to do with laziness or you being some kind of slacker. And it’s definitely not because you’re a failure. It’s because you weren’t ready, or because it wasn’t the right time, or because it’s time for you to move onto a different path.
Human beings are not lazy by nature. We are industrious, curious, and always striving to achieve our goals. And when we are stuck in place and not achieving things, there is always a good reason for it.
If you’ve been feeling bad about not getting stuff done, then stop. If you start wallowing in bad feelings and berating yourself for failing to achieve your goals, then that energy will just carry forward and affect your ability to succeed in the future.
So give yourself a break. Take a deep breath. Realize that there are good reasons for what happened (or rather, didn’t happen). There are valid reasons why you haven’t accomplished your goals, in other words. So let it go.
Refocus yourself on what needs to happen from this point forward. Update your dream and adjust your goals if necessary, and get yourself back on track to the success you deserve.
photo credit: pixabay.com cc (modified by me)
Dream. Believe. Achieve.
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Well, I looked into number 3 and have tried other paths, only to be led to the original goal I started with, so, in my case, I’m dealing with the first two options mentioned here. And it’s true, I fear being exhausted all the time from the freakish work schedules usually assigned. I guess I need to focus on easing this and focus on maintain my energy throughout the day, and stop worrying because energy is depleted doing this. Now, I grew up in a house full of anxiety and worry, so it won’t be easy. I’ll have to do it incrementally.
Sometimes we stress ourselves out over what we think something is going to be like before we’ve even experienced the reality of it. We think it’s going to be hard or scary or annoying or whatever and it snowballs into this giant (but imaginary) obstacle in our heads that we dread. But then we end up doing it and discover it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we thought it would be. And we wonder why we expended so much energy in the dreading of the thing.
When I get stuck in that kind of dread-mentality, I find it sometimes helps if I can find one thing about the upcoming task that I would actually enjoy and focus myself on that aspect, rather than on the parts I’m sure I’m going to hate.